"What luck!" he said to himself in a clown-like voice. "This is within the top three places of where I wanted to wind up!"
He looked down and his legs were shaped like a lemniscate -- which is a fancy mathematical term for the infinity symbol -- which must have meant he was running fast. Really fast. Hyper fast.
"I'm not sure what I was doing before, but it clearly worked." Except in this new world, everyone called the PRIVATE CLOWN 'Twister'. He had no idea where the connection was being made.
"Guess I ought to do what I came to do," he said in a seriously cool voice, heavy instrumentals suddenly bursting in a cacophonous flurry to assist his fervor. "That shiny ball is calling to me." He knew not what the shiny ball was (it was the orb) nor why it called out to him (manifest destiny), but still he felt particularly drawn.... to the blue one.
"I feel particularly drawn to the blue one."
And so he went for it, but then it disappeared. Bummer.
"N-Nani?!" he exclaimed, his view suddenly turning to widescreen. Or whatever happens when the black bars show up and a dramatic lens appears.
"I thought I was supposed to have a super cool ability... but then it disappeared. It's as if someone gave me a power, realized they messed up, and gave me something less cool in its stead..."
The Clown looks at me. I shrug then point at the Game Master.
"Ah," the Clown said, suddenly understanding. "Do I at least get a consolation prize?" he pleaded to me. I remember the Game Master told me I can write in a shape-shifting dog, so suddenly that appears, as well. ImAgInAtIoN.
"Hot, damn! That's some creative writing, right there!" The dog, Private Dog, jumped up and licked the Clown. Which meant the dog was also running hyper fast. "Let's go for a different orb since our first one was a mistake!"
They do, but then someone steals it. Bummer.
"This blows!" the Clown cries. "Well I may not have gotten an orb, but at least I have you, Private Dog!
Then, quaking the earth and parting the seas, Alexander! The Birdman! Appeared! And glued himself to the back of the Clown! He grunted! He squirmed! He fought for his life! But still, the trickster-turned-avian kept his assault on the Clown!!
"Ahhhhh noooo I can't escape his arms are TOO. THIN. aaaarggghhh!!"
Will he escape?
Will he survive?
Tune in next time!
The dog transforms into a banana, because let's face it, we all get hungry and the Clown was feeling those pangs. He peeled the banana... sensually... slowly. He learned every "inch" and "hard ridge" of that elongated piece of nature's candy... and he liked what he felt. An exposed banana is what was revealed afterwards. Nude. And in the raw.
He ate it. M-m-m-m so tasty.
He got ready to toss the banana peel, but then savage winds caught it, and, in a miraculous turn of events, the peel landed... in front of him.
"N-NAAAANIIIII!??" But it was too late. No amount of nani's would save him now.
He stepped on it. Beneath the peel, the cries of a dog could be heard.
"Private Dog, noooooo!!!"
Private Dog's Soul Light began to dim... and once a Private Dog's Soul Light goes out... it goes out forever.
"I'm so sorry!! I didn't mean to!! I'm so sorry!!"
Then... Summoning the strength of all the previous Private Dog's before him, Private Dog went into his true form, Private First Class Dog. Sprouting from the sides of his soul, beautiful wings emerged and stretched to create the first galaxies. They were immaculate and pure -- just seeing them with your bare eyes could melt your whole body. It was incredible. Of course, this all happened inside.
Outside, he was a banana. And those wings were cool little rockets. And they pushed at speeds so fast even sound would go 'hoo-boy that's fast' if sound could talk.
Private First Class Dog and Private Clown and Birdman all sped away together.
"Yeah!! Yeah!!! Private Dog, Yeah!!!" The Clown cheered.